Wallowing

Let me start this post out on a positive note:  we had a bright moment of hope in our day today that I absolutely needed, and for which I am super grateful.  Before that happened I spent my morning pondering the question, "when is it acceptable to give up?"  And yes, I know that the answer to that is "it's not.  Keep going."  Also, I want to be clear that I don't mean giving up in any sort of permanent sense.  It's more that I just want to crawl into my blanket fort for 1-3 months.  I could nap, eat chocolate, and read, and when I emerged, rather than having transformed into a butterfly the world around me will have transformed.  The hubby will be healthy, our finances will be in hand, we won't be struggling to keep our heads above water all the damn time.  Sigh, that's called denial.  I understand this.  But the daydream is nice sometimes.  We do keep having bright spots, and those are the things that are keeping me going right now, but the things that are dragging me down are numerous:

• We're still in limbo about the hubby's health
• This is the week for me that the migraine hits.  Tuesday was the worst, but the darn thing has been lingering ever since
• My blood sugar has been up, which freaks out the hubby and makes him worry that I'm going to get diabetes and die (yes, this is a bit of a trigger for him)
• I HATE the job search process.  I'm qualified!  I'm educated!  I show up on time, I'm professional, and I'm nice, dammit.  Someone should want to hire me.
• It is 9 billion degrees this week
• We are about to lose our storage unit.  There have been several times in the past week or so when we though things would work out so we'd be able to pay our past-due balance, but they've all fallen through.  All of our stuff goes up for auction on Saturday.  90% of it really is just stuff that I'm mostly OK with being without.  The other 10% has me heartbroken, though, as it's irreplaceable.  I should have found time before it reached this point to go get that stuff out, but I didn't.  Because I suck.  And now I feel stupid.
• I have numerous friends who are hurting right now for various reasons and I can't do a thing to help any of them.  This makes me feel like a horrible person.  I love them, I should be able to help them in some tangible way.
• There are a bunch of other things that combine to make me feel like a giant, stupid, loser-failure.

OK, I'm done.  I just needed to wallow for a bit.  Tomorrow I will try to do a post about happy, positive things in my life, because they do exist.

Since this post is about wallowing, what's more appropriate than piggy shoes?

Oh my goodness.  It's a pig in a tutu and teeny tiny high tops!  This is ridiculous.  Or maybe it's repigulous!  And adorable.

I actually knew a kid who had these shoes.  The piggy bum cracks me up.

They are soooo happy!

I would like this better if the shoe wasn't pink so the piggies would pop a little better.

I think I need green boots for wallowing days.  And a teeny tiny boot wearing pig to accompany me.  Now, will someone PLEASE make me a magical blanket fort to to which I can escape?