Showing posts with label Funeral. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funeral. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Love-Hate


I hate these.   I hate the shape and the ankle-imprisonment straps.  I also love these.  If it weren't for the awful black straps, if they were just a multi-colored, graffiti printed pump, I would totally wear them.  Yet one more example of my wishy-washy nature when it comes to shoes.
 
So, I did the 2nd funeral today.  It was long, but nice.  Definitely a different experience from last week.  Sadly I'm still feeling yucky, so my voice started to crack at the end, and I think I might have had a fever.  Oh well.  Now I'm off to a council meeting, and then I take the hubby to the airport.  Such a glamorous life I lead.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Faith Restored

About 5 minutes after I posted my rant about funerals on Friday, I got a phone call from another funeral director asking me to do another service on Tuesday.  I called the husband of the woman whose funeral it would be and got voicemail.  During intermission at the play that night I listened to a message he left asking if we could find time to get together so he could bring pictures and tell me about her so I would know a little something of their lives.  He and his grandson just left after our meeting, and he was totally the opposite of Friday's experience.  He and his wife had been married for 46 years after meeting in Germany while he was in the service.  The met and were married within about 3 months, and she left her family and her country to move here to the states with him.  It was clear from talking to him how much he loved her, and how he wanted to share his experiences of their life together.  After my rant the other day, I want to reiterate that I understand that everyone reacts differently to grief.  I know I was judgy the other day, and I was speaking out of a lot of frustration.  Today's meeting helped to heal a bit of that frustration.
 
So...shoes.  Not an easy transition in this case.  I decided to look for wedding shoes from the 60s, in honor of his sharing their wedding story with me.
 


 
Usual disclaimer...this is what popped up in a search.  I don't take a lot of time to verify that they actually are from the 60s, or are, in fact, wedding shoes.  Hey, Mom...do you still have your wedding shoes?  Wanna send me a picture?
 

Friday, June 21, 2013

Awkward

I did a funeral this morning, and it was awkward.  I frequently get calls from funeral homes asking me to do the funeral of a person who grew up Lutheran or was baptized Lutheran, or who might have sat next to a Lutheran person once in a movie theater, but who wasn't very religious. The family then wants a Lutheran funeral, which is fine, and usually they go OK.  It's always slightly awkward to only interact with people while you are burying their loved one, and to speak in a homily about someone you've never met.  Sometimes the families are really engaged and fill me in on stories about their loved one, other times, not so much.  It continually amazes me how so many families have nothing to say when asked about their family member.  I understand they are grieving and that makes things difficult.  I understand that every family has different dynamics.  I understand that if you didn't grow up in a family that went to church you are going to want me to choose scripture readings for you.  But lately it seems like most of these that I do involve an awkward conversation where I ask them to tell me about their loved one and I get a few mumbled responses in reply.  I'm also noticing that the obituaries are frankly pathetic.  The last 5 or so funerals I have done for non-members have literally all included some variation on this obituary:  Birth and death dates, who she married, and that she liked to garden.  Seriously?  8 or 9 decades of life and that's all you can say about your mother?  I'm not saying you should write a novel, and I know obits can get pricey, but can  you try to put some life into it?  I then have to give the most generic homily ever because I'm not going to stand up and say, well, she was a child of God who apparently liked to garden.  Today's was also awkward because the family clearly didn't want to be there.  No one participated in any way, even when things were printed out for them.  Not much eye contact.  And the sound system gave out, which means I had to basically yell for 20 minutes.  That did not help my bronchitis.
 
OK, enough, complaining.  I was happy to see the calendar picture for today, because it gave me some much needed levity:
 
 
I've seen this shoe in lots of various places, but still giggled when it popped up today.  It's a slide shoe shaped like a slide!  I would have to have a very specific reason to wear these, but they do crack me up.  So I leave you with this today:  wear funny shoes occasionally, and come up with better stories for your loved ones' obits than that they liked to garden.
 
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