Poop in a Group

When I was home I was talking to Laughter and Flower about how I wasn't very organized that day.  I said I "couldn't get my poop in a group" because it was more appropriate than telling a 10 and 5 year old that I couldn't get my $h!t together.  They both gave me looks of equal confusion and horror and then one of them asked, "why would you WANT your poop in a group?!"  I told them it was a silly, rhyming way of saying I wasn't organized, but their reactions made me laugh.

I still can't get my poop in said group.  I've been home for almost a week and I'm still not unpacked.  My desk at work is a mess, although I think I'm fairly on top of most of what I need to be on top of work-wise.  It's just home that's messed up.  I don't know if I'm having trouble adjusting to post-vacation reality or if it's part of a bigger picture of discontentment.  There are so many things I need to do around the house and I don't want to do any of it.  And I feel all blah and discombobulated.  I think I'm starting to have some thoughts about the why of this, but those thoughts, like that poop, will not get and stay in a group.

And now, because I'm discombobulated, you get to look at poop shoes.  You're welcome.

From a distance, these just look like they have a cool pattern on them, and I love the turquoise laces.

Up close, though, we see the happy poo emoji is what makes up said cool pattern.

Turns out there are more shoes than you might think with this particular emoji.  There was quite the range of colors.  I don't want to know who buys these.

Ohdeargod, these are made from actual elephant poop.  Why?  Who designed them?  Who buys them?!  This is NOT the group I want my poop to be in.

I have definitely typed the word poop enough for one day.  Back to work in an attempt to find the top of my desk underneath the (albeit organized and sorted) mountains of paperwork.  Although what I really want to do is go home and take a nap with puppies.  The hubby is home sick today, I want to be home, too!

Memory Lane: 2013. 2015.

A Day of Pet Needs

I spent the majority of the day saying, "Chalupa, NO!"  Poor thing is totally confused about his hormonal state these days, and Tallulah is in heat, so she smells good, and all he wants to do is lick her parts.  Of course, they have the cone of shame to prevent the licking of parts and therefor stitches, so it doesn't help that he's trying to lick her all day.  I try to separate them as much as possible, but when they are in different rooms they both whine and scratch at the door the entire time.  I'm trying to be patient, but damn they're driving me crazy right now.  Poor babies.  In other puppy news, I also power washed the area rugs today.  It has to be done periodically to help with the pee, poop, and puke stains.  Delightful, huh?  I try to keep on top of it with the Resolve spray and a scrub brush, but sometimes it needs a more thorough washing to help with stains and smells.  I ALSO cleaned the dragon cage today.  This involves putting the dragons in a tub full of water, taking everything out of their cage to also power wash outside, then vacuuming all of the bedding, poop, food, molted skin, roaches, and god only knows what else, then putting new bedding and everything else back in.  Reason #793 why husbands are like children?  They swear that the pets they want won't be hard to take care of and they will do everything that needs to be done.  Uh huh.  This is why I was involved in dealing with way too many pet bodily functions today.  I've washed my hands so many times I think the skin is just going to fall off.  Don't worry, there won't be poop shoes in this post.  We've done puppies, so tonight we'll do lizards:

I hope that top part moves like a pop-up book so the lizard can chomp chomp chomp.

I keep thinking the nostrils are eyes, but either way I think these are cute.

Yay!  Geckos!  I would like a pair, please.

Blue and green boots!  With geckos!

And actual Bearded Dragon shoes.  These are fabulous, in a totally ugly kind of way.

OK, I lied.  One pair of poop shoes because it's hilarious that poop shoes even exist.  And the poop is so happy.

Hopefully this will be there won't be a post that contains this many uses of the word poop again.  But don't hold your breath.