Wallowing

Let me start this post out on a positive note:  we had a bright moment of hope in our day today that I absolutely needed, and for which I am super grateful.  Before that happened I spent my morning pondering the question, "when is it acceptable to give up?"  And yes, I know that the answer to that is "it's not.  Keep going."  Also, I want to be clear that I don't mean giving up in any sort of permanent sense.  It's more that I just want to crawl into my blanket fort for 1-3 months.  I could nap, eat chocolate, and read, and when I emerged, rather than having transformed into a butterfly the world around me will have transformed.  The hubby will be healthy, our finances will be in hand, we won't be struggling to keep our heads above water all the damn time.  Sigh, that's called denial.  I understand this.  But the daydream is nice sometimes.  We do keep having bright spots, and those are the things that are keeping me going right now, but the things that are dragging me down are numerous:

• We're still in limbo about the hubby's health
• This is the week for me that the migraine hits.  Tuesday was the worst, but the darn thing has been lingering ever since
• My blood sugar has been up, which freaks out the hubby and makes him worry that I'm going to get diabetes and die (yes, this is a bit of a trigger for him)
• I HATE the job search process.  I'm qualified!  I'm educated!  I show up on time, I'm professional, and I'm nice, dammit.  Someone should want to hire me.
• It is 9 billion degrees this week
• We are about to lose our storage unit.  There have been several times in the past week or so when we though things would work out so we'd be able to pay our past-due balance, but they've all fallen through.  All of our stuff goes up for auction on Saturday.  90% of it really is just stuff that I'm mostly OK with being without.  The other 10% has me heartbroken, though, as it's irreplaceable.  I should have found time before it reached this point to go get that stuff out, but I didn't.  Because I suck.  And now I feel stupid.
• I have numerous friends who are hurting right now for various reasons and I can't do a thing to help any of them.  This makes me feel like a horrible person.  I love them, I should be able to help them in some tangible way.
• There are a bunch of other things that combine to make me feel like a giant, stupid, loser-failure.

OK, I'm done.  I just needed to wallow for a bit.  Tomorrow I will try to do a post about happy, positive things in my life, because they do exist.

Since this post is about wallowing, what's more appropriate than piggy shoes?

Oh my goodness.  It's a pig in a tutu and teeny tiny high tops!  This is ridiculous.  Or maybe it's repigulous!  And adorable.

I actually knew a kid who had these shoes.  The piggy bum cracks me up.

They are soooo happy!

I would like this better if the shoe wasn't pink so the piggies would pop a little better.

I think I need green boots for wallowing days.  And a teeny tiny boot wearing pig to accompany me.  Now, will someone PLEASE make me a magical blanket fort to to which I can escape?

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day!  Whether you are a biological mom, adoptive mom, foster mom, Godmother, motherly, or have a mother, I hope you found a way to celebrate today!  For those of you for whom today is hard, because of infertility, loss of a child, loss of your mother, or an unhealthy or unhelpful relationship with your mother, please know you aren't alone, that you are loved, and I hope today wasn't too painful for you, or if it was you had a good support system.  My prayers are with you, and I would give you a hug if I could.

I am extremely grateful for the moms in my life.  My mom, my mother-in-law, my Godmother (who is also my auntie!), the moms of my nieces and nephew (one of whom is my seester!), and lots of mothering-types who have been there throughout my life.  I am thankful for each and every one of you.

I was a terrible daughter today, though.  I did at least call my mom today.  But, I have a gift for, have had it for months...but haven't sent it to her.  I wrote her a poem...but haven't finished it.  I feel like the kid in Mercer Mayer's book Just For You.  Hopefully mom still loves me in my failure (actually I know she does, it's one of the reasons she is awesome and I am lucky).  I will try to do better in the daughter department, though.

In the meantime, here are some shoes to celebrate the day:

Yum!  Neither the dragons nor the puppies thought to get me lollipops with shoes on them.  Silly babies.  Oh wait...that's just karma for my own Mother's Day failures!

 

This is true.  I wouldn't trade my mom in for all the shoes in the world.

I think I've posted these before, but I still like them.  I would wear them on Mother's Day and July 12 and January 11 and November 27 and September 25, for a start (those are all birthdays of the people I mentioned above).

I have no idea why these came up in a search for "mother's day shoes," but they did.  They are odd, but I like the colors.  I don't think I would wear them, but still, the colors are fun.

So, once again, Happy Mother's Day!  I hope your day was full of love.

Love is Love is Love

I was reminded this week that I have amazing friends and family.  You'd think I would know this by now, but a little reminder never hurts.  First, a friend from seminary was in town from Washington DC and she stayed with the hubby and me on Thursday night.  It was sooooo good to see her and hang out.  We had dinner with the BSF Thursday night and it was really great to have some good, quality girl time.  I definitely needed it.  There were a bunch of other reminders of why my friends are awesome these past couple of days, but I'm not going to go into the details in this post. Suffice it to say that I have felt surrounded by love.  I hope I can pay that love forward, backward, sideways, and interdimensionally in thanks.  To celebrate, tonight's shoes are love themed.

I've posted these before, but they are Beatles shoes that say All You Need is Love a million times.  No, really, it's a million, I counted.  And I'll probably post them a million times more.  Also, I love the colors.

 

I don't like this as well as the first pair, but I still love the colors, and it looks like a DIY project, so I appreciate the effort.

 

Yes, I know this is the same as the first pair, but it's for a TODDLER.  Someone please get me a toddler so s/he can have these shoes!

 

I know these last two are kind of tiny and hard to see, but they are Toms, and all covered in hearts, and I like the colors on both.

It's true, all you need is love, and I am grateful and blessed to have been showered in love t his week.  Thank you, my friends.

Earth Day

So, it's been a month and 20 days since I last posted.  I've thought about it a bunch, but like so many things right now, I don't seem to get around to it.  Work has been crazy, life has been crazy, things have been super stressful.  Blah...I won't bore you with the details because they are numerous and they don't even seem plausible when listed all together.  I'll just say that prayers, as always, are appreciated, and if things don't change soon, there will need to be some major changes in our lives.

Let's move on.  It's been forever since I posted, so you don't need to read a bunch of my whining.  Today is Earth Day, and there were lots of Marches for Science around the country.  I didn't march, but had good friends who did.  Instead I will post some earth-themed shoes.  Which is a little ridiculous, and I don't mean to make light of the day, it's just a theme for tonight's post since I'm actually getting around to posting something.

Let's just look at shoes, k?

If these had better arch support (I'm assuming they don't), they'd be great to wear for a march.

I love these.  The colors are so fun.

These would also be on-point for a march.

Love the green.  You know my thoughts about the rest.

These crack me up.  Earths wearing glasses!  I love the Tom's above, but these might be my favorite.

Not my most in-depth post, but hey, I had to start back somewhere.  I can't guarantee I'll post more frequently, but wouldn't it be nice if life calmed down enough to let me?

Dinos

Ugh...it's been a day.  The roller coaster continues and I don't know how much longer I can be on this ridiculous ride.  Except I always say that and then there's always something else that happens that enables me to continue for just a little longer.  Could it just be a little flatter, though?  Do the lows have to be so darn low?  We were expecting some good news this week, and while we didn't get complete bad news, we got delaying news.  I know, this is vague, but I can't give you the details.  I would appreciate whatever prayers/good thoughts you have to give.  Adulting is hard.  Adulting is a stupid word, but that doesn't make it any less hard.

For no connected reasons, dinosaur shoes are cheering me up today:

I love them all.  I think I need the slippers.  How could I be sad wearing those?  Thanks in advance for the prayers or thoughts or whatever your belief system supports.  I'm lucky to have you in my life and with me on this journey.

Wings

Today I am thankful for airplanes that take me to see my family!  Hooray family! I'm super excited and can't wait to get there, although it will almost be tomorrow by the time I finally land.  I am also thankful for all of the employees who make my flights possible.  They often get a bad rap from people who are angry when things are delayed or out of their control, but for the most part most people I encounter while traveling are just trying to do their job and I appreciate them for that.  So, today's shoes are inspired by flight.

I started out looking for shoes with wings.  Holy mother of cheesecake (Thank you, author Debbie Macomber, for THAT phrase that I just read in your latest book), these are crazy.  I love the colors, but dang.  And there are numerous pairs of these, in all different colors.  Why, exactly?

Somehow they're a cuter when they're smaller and light up.  These would be fun for a small child to go tromping through the airport in. 

These said wings, but they could just as easily be leaves?  I decided to move away from wings and on to...

Airplane shoes.  Which I've done before, but come on, they're totally theme appropriate.  And adorable.

I wouldn't buy these just for everyday, but I would totally wear them on a plane.  Because I'm weird like that.

Or these.  I know, I need themed shoe therapy.  Whatever, I'm going home, so I don't care if you think I'm weird. 

Thanks

Today I am thankful for our veterans.  Military service is not something I have felt called to or think I could do, but I'm grateful for those who are called to and are willing to serve in such a way.  I posted these 3 pictures on Facebook today in honor of Veteran's Day:

These are pictures of Mom's dad, my dad, and DJ. Apparently we're a naval family because my uncle was also in the navy, I just don't have a picture of him.  In honor of my these extra special veterans here are some nautically-inspired shoes:

You know I'm going to love these because they're blue.  I also like that they're themed but not over the top with their theme.

Ditto to these.  I think they're adorable.

This is creeping toward that over the top edge of theme-y-ness.

Love.

Navy shoes for the whole family!

Thank you to those who serve.  I am a proud auntie when it comes to DJ, and I pray for her continued safety as she moves forward in this journey.

Leaves

Today was another rough one.  Yesterday was so good, and so hope-filled, and today was just...not.  Can someone please stop this roller coaster? Because I would very much like to get off.  Sigh.  I've been trying to think of what I am thankful for today, and of course there are many things, but on days like today it can be hard to push past all the negative to focus on the good things.  I have been noticing the leaves, though.  We don't get terribly defined seasons here, but some of the leaves change and today I was noticing a lot of really pretty trees on my drive to work.  So I'm grateful that nature smacks me in the face with beauty sometimes, because I definitely need it.  Here are some shoes.

These are interesting.  I like them.

These are crazy, but make me want to wear them while kicking leaves.

Oh Zazzle, you have shoes for everything.

These are also interesting.  I can't decide if I like them or not.  I do, sort of, but then I look again and I don't.  I have no idea.

These are my favorite.  I would like to wear these right now, please.

I keep telling myself tomorrow is a new day.  It has become my mantra.

Poop in a Group

When I was home I was talking to Laughter and Flower about how I wasn't very organized that day.  I said I "couldn't get my poop in a group" because it was more appropriate than telling a 10 and 5 year old that I couldn't get my $h!t together.  They both gave me looks of equal confusion and horror and then one of them asked, "why would you WANT your poop in a group?!"  I told them it was a silly, rhyming way of saying I wasn't organized, but their reactions made me laugh.

I still can't get my poop in said group.  I've been home for almost a week and I'm still not unpacked.  My desk at work is a mess, although I think I'm fairly on top of most of what I need to be on top of work-wise.  It's just home that's messed up.  I don't know if I'm having trouble adjusting to post-vacation reality or if it's part of a bigger picture of discontentment.  There are so many things I need to do around the house and I don't want to do any of it.  And I feel all blah and discombobulated.  I think I'm starting to have some thoughts about the why of this, but those thoughts, like that poop, will not get and stay in a group.

And now, because I'm discombobulated, you get to look at poop shoes.  You're welcome.

From a distance, these just look like they have a cool pattern on them, and I love the turquoise laces.

Up close, though, we see the happy poo emoji is what makes up said cool pattern.

Turns out there are more shoes than you might think with this particular emoji.  There was quite the range of colors.  I don't want to know who buys these.

Ohdeargod, these are made from actual elephant poop.  Why?  Who designed them?  Who buys them?!  This is NOT the group I want my poop to be in.

I have definitely typed the word poop enough for one day.  Back to work in an attempt to find the top of my desk underneath the (albeit organized and sorted) mountains of paperwork.  Although what I really want to do is go home and take a nap with puppies.  The hubby is home sick today, I want to be home, too!

Memory Lane: 2013. 2015.