Advent

Today I am thankful that we are in the liturgical season of Advent, my favorite season.  A time when we look forward to the light coming into our darkness.  I needed that reminder today, needed to be reminded of the hope present in this season.  I won't go into the details of why and blah blah blah, instead I'm just going to give you 4 pairs of Advent-blue shoes, one for each Sunday in this season:

And now I am going to go to bed.

Adventy Snowmen

I'm combining 2 posts today in an effort to get some of the jumble out of my head.  On Saturday I watched Frosty the Snowman, Frosty Returns and Frosty's Winter Wonderland while I crocheted, which made me want to do a snowman post, but I didn't because we don't currently have internet at the house, and then Sunday I got sidetracked and did something else.  So I'm starting with that.

Look at these cute, smug snowmen!  These are a little crazy-busy, but I think they're adorable.

Those are some ginormous carrot noses, but otherwise I think these are also adorable.  And they are definitely going in the PB's imaginary closet.

 

I love these!  I want these!  Notice the similarity to the first pair?  I found this website today that you should definitely visit if you want some snowman shoe adorableness.  Just don't look at the prices, because holy buckets.

Sunday was the 4th Sunday in Advent, and I was going to do a post on the blue shoes the calendar has offered up in December, but again: sidetracked.

These would have looked awesome with my St. Someone's chasuble, I think.

That is a teeny tiny skinny heel and I'm not sure I could walk on it, but I really like the overall shape of this.

 

Is this an Advent blue?  No.  Do I care?  Not really.  This is from 1955, according to the helpful information up there in the corner.  They aren't my favorite shape and style in the world, but I do love me some turquoise.

Now that I've mixed secular snowmen with religious Advent I shall leave you to ponder whatever it is you were pondering before you came here.

3rd Sunday in Advent

The 3rd Sunday in Advent is Joy Sunday, and the candle is pink rather than blue.  I went to church again this morning, but was feeling anything but joyful, and actually started crying during the middle of the service.  It was all the fault of the Prayers for Healing when the congregation was singing:

O Lord hear my prayer.

O  Lord hear my prayer.

When I call, answer me.

O Lord hear my prayer.

O Lord herar my prayer.

Come and listen to me.

I tried to hold it together, but as I mentioned awhile back, prayer and I are having issues right now.  I don't feel listened to or answered, even though I know better than to think that way.  Then after church the pastor introduced me to a retired Lutheran pastor and we had a totally awkward (on my part) conversation.  It was awkward because I was introduced as a Lutheran pastor and the retired guy was talking about the possibility of a Lutheran church being started in this community.  I was awkward because I didn't want to blurt out how I'm not ordained anymore and blah blah blah.  Hopefully I didn't look too manic as I nodded and smiled.

As I was reminded during the liturgy, though, joy is a choice.  So I'm trying to remember all of the things I have that bring me joy even while I'm not feeling it right now.  Also, even though pink isn't my favorite color, it's still a joyful color, so I'm going to look at pink shoes and think joyful thoughts.

These are very proper to me.  Like they should be worn with a pink tweed suit and a very proper hat.  In other words, an outfit I can't really pull off.

I like bright pink better than lighter pinks.  These are very bright and fun and would be awesome for Easter.

Also bright and fun and Easter.  And that is one tall heel.

These are wedding shoes.  Definitely wouldn't be my choice, but they would be fun for a pink lover.

And the bridesmaids could wear these!

Or these.  I do love a wedge.

These are growing on me.  The more I look at them the more I like them.  I really like the button details on the sides.

I found these and had to post them for the PF.  These are definitely full of joy.  I can't look at them without smiling.

Be joyful my friends.  Fake it til you make it if you have to.

2nd Sunday of Advent

I actually went to church today.  I told a friend this past week that I'm a terrible church shopper:  I want a church that's close because of the lack of gas money, I want one large enough where I can be anonymous, and I want one that's familiar, where I know the service and the hymns.  Well, I got 1.5 out of 3.  The Episcopal church in my neighborhood is close, and the service and hymns are mostly familiar (although there was a different tune to On Jordan's Banks the Baptist Cries than the one I'm used to).  There is no being anonymous there, though.  There were fewer than 50 people at today's service, so a visitor sticks out.  It was a nice service, though, and I didn't cry, which was a plus since I'm having a complicated relationship with my faith right now.  So now it's time for more blue Advent shoes:

I wore red boots to church this mornings, so I wasn't very Adventy, but oh well.  The rest of the day was spent doing exciting things like laundry.  Oh!  And I did decorate a Christmas tree today.  1 of 3.

 

Advent

This past Sunday was the beginning of Advent, and I can't believe I waited almost a week to do a blue Advent shoe post.  I must be slipping.

They're blue, and I love/want them all.  I could have commented on each picture individually, but that seems a bit redundant when I would have said how much I love each one.

Advent has been a little rough for me this year.  It's normally my favorite season, one of light and hope and preparation, but I'm having trouble getting into the proper Advent frame of mind.  Things are so stressful with the business right now and they only seem to be getting worse, not better.  I mentioned in a recent post that the only prayer I seem to be able to formulate lately is pleasegodpleasegodpleasegod, and that hasn't changed.  Part of my struggle with Advent is also my struggle with prayer.  I've actually always struggled with prayer.  I get too wrapped up in the intellectual, theological part of it.  There are so many ways to pray, so many ways not to pray, so much advice on the subject that it feels overwhelming at times.  "Be careful what you pray for!"  "You just need to pray harder."  I actually had a spiritual director once tell me I prayed wrong.  Gee, thanks, lady.  I absolutely believe in the power of prayer, and I also am completely overwhelmed and confused by prayer.  I take comfort in the part of the bible that says "the spirit intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words."  Thank goodness, because I sure as heck can't come up with the words right now.  I also struggle with prayer because it's an exercise in patience.  God's timing is not my timing.  OK...so how long are you going to wait, God?  What am I supposed to be learning?  Am I being punished for something?  Except, that's not how I believe God works.  The phrase "God only gives us what we can handle" makes me want to kick something.   Pardon my french, but that makes God something of an asshole.  I cannot believe God is thinking, hmmm...that couple right there seems really strong, so I think I'm going to give their kid cancer.  I believe God is with us in our struggles, but never the cause of them.  God grieves with us.  And yet.  Being right in the middle of the struggle absolutely sucks.  I'm struggling to find hope and meaning, but keep getting bogged down in despair and disappointment.  I try to pray but can't seem to do it.  I'm angry with God, which is OK because God can handle it, but I don't enjoy it, and I don't want to be here.  I don't want to bargain with God (another aspect of prayer that I could get on my soap box about), I don't want to blame God, I don't want to be angry with God.  I want things to be better, dammit.  I'm trying to take comfort in the familiar themes of Advent, of the light that shines through the darkness, of a God who takes on human form to come be in the struggle with us.  All I can say is thank goodness I'm not having to preach right now, because I have no words for myself, let alone anyone else.

Lights

Today had me thinking about light.  It's the Winter Solstice, which means it's the shortest day of the year.  Less light and more dark, but starting tomorrow that balance will start back the other way, little by little.  Advent is like that as well.  We wait in darkness for the light that is Jesus to come into the world.  Each week we light one more candle on the Advent wreath, adding more and more light.  I was also noticing Christmas lights today, first on the seester's 2 trees, then on the tree at a friend's house, and finally on all of the houses as I drove home in the growing dark.  I love the lights this time of year.  Here are some Christmas lights for you to contemplate.  They won't light up the darkness in a literal sense, but maybe they'll make you smile a bit.

If I had these I would have worn them while decorating all the trees this year.

This just makes me want to cross-stitch (while also reminding me that I have a cross-stitch project waiting to be finished that is looooong overdue).

 

I'm not exactly sure what these are in terms of decorations, but they are certainly festive.

Wait, these might have better arch support for the decorating...

Yep.  The shoe tree needs these.  Maybe not in purple.  Maybe in a multicolored strand?

Hmmmm...it occurs to me that I don't actually have any Christmas socks with lights on them.  I should probably remedy that situation one of these years.

 

Not socks or shoes, but fits with the theme, and they're cute!  Double A could totally do this, I wish I'd thought of it before she went to her mom's!

My family and friends are definitely lights in my own darkness.  I spent time last night and today teaching Flower how to crochet a granny square.  She's still working on memorizing the pattern, but she is doing awesome.  Pretty sure she's way better than I was at 9.  Laughter has more energy than 10 kids and sometimes makes me tired just looking at her.  We painted with water colors today, and she made a map so we'd know where we all lived.  This afternoon was a Christmas open house at a friend's house.  She and her family recently moved into a new house, so it was a house-warming as well.  Her kiddos also crack me up.  And then tonight the seester, Flower, Laughter, and I all sat together and watched White Christmas together.  What a perfect end to the day.  

Thank you to all of you who bring light to my darkness!

Blue and Yellow

The 2nd Christmas tree at Mom's house went up yesterday in my room.  Actually, it was my brother's room, but my mom STOLE my room and now I have to sleep in the guest room where I'm positive there are residual cooties.  (Just kidding Mom, but only about the stealing.  The cooties are totally true).  The new, non-brother decor is blue and yellow, so it's actually quite lovely since I do so enjoy blue.  The tree even goes with the decor, as it has blue and yellow ornaments.  The Bean and The VH decorated it for me after school:

Isn't it lovely?  And yes, that is my wedding bouquet in the background, thank you for asking.

So...do you really even need me to tell you where this post is going next?

Blue.  Sparkly.  Ankle strap.  Are you even surprised?

OK, so gold, not yellow sparkly.  Yellow sparkly is really hard to find.  Let's just pretend these are more yellow than gold.

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Boots!  For some reason I can't type between these 2 pictures, and I'm too tired to fight with it right now.  I LOVE the blue pair.  And yes, I already have blue boots that color, but they are flats.  Duh.  I like the yellow ones, too.  They are bright and funky.  No idea what I would ever wear them with, though.

I don't know why I love these so much, but I do.  They make my ovaries go squeeee!  They're just too cute.

I like these, too, but not as much as the blue ones.  And no, it's not because they are yellow.  I think the color is fun

 

Want want want.

See above.

So there you have it.  Yellow and blue shoes based on the Christmas tree in my room, but also blue shoes for Advent, since I haven't done an Advent post this year, except for the Calendar one.  Must go watch a Christmas movie with the parents now.