The holidays website tells me that today is Biological Clock Day. Huh. Like a I need a specific day in April to remind me that my biological clock is ticking? Nope. The darn thing has been ticking VERY loudly for a VERY long time. Motherhood is the one thing I have felt the most consistently called to do and the one thing I may never achieve. I just turned 41, which in the baby world is old. It's not impossible, but the risk factors are high and the chances of getting pregnant get lower all the time. I would be open to adoption, but I'm not sure that will happen, either. I try to be maternal in other ways like being a good auntie. Unfortunately I think I'm more of an office mother sometimes than an office manager, which is probably weird for all of our employees. I have classmates who are grandparents. There are children I used to babysit who now have children of their own. So I'm feeling a little sad tonight and will now pour salt in the wound by showing you baby shoes. LOTS of baby shoes. Some I've had in my ideas folder for awhile (I collect things I find as I'm looking for other things/themes) and some I found today when I went looking. Believe me, I could have done way more.
So cute. Sad that the Potential Baby may only ever be that, but it is what it is.
PS--before you (very kindly) tell me that I'm not old and you are older, I will remind you that most of you are already parents and/or grandparents, and telling me I'm not old isn't really the point in this case. It's also not true in medical terms. But thank you anyway. I also understand that it has been my own choices that have led me to where I am today, and while I don't regret most of them, I do regret a few, and I do think I might change some things if I had the chance, but since I can't, I can admit that it's my own fault that I'm childless and not following that call.
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