Thursday, April 9, 2015

Beast Mode

First:  Thank you for all of the nice/funny/awesome things many of you wrote about last night's post.  It's less about turning 40 and more about being defined as "old" by a group of "young" women.  So, today I'm young, but on Sunday I'm too old to hang out with them?  Whatever.

Second: I'm slightly horrified that I not only know the title of this post is a football reference, but to what and to whom it refers.  I own dogs and I know stuff about football.  Stupid marriage.

Third (and I don't really think this is any of you, but just in case): If  you take the Book of Revelation literally, then you should stop reading as this will just piss you off.  This is my 666th post.  Oh no!  It's the number of the beast!  People get really freaked out by this number and there are 666X666 theories as to what, or who, it refers to.  Maybe it's a year.  Maybe it's Nero.  Oh wait, is it actually 616? Possibly.  Wanna know the crazy thing?  You can make that number stand for just about anything.  Here is one of the more absurd:
  1. The character of Barney is well-described as a "cute purple dinosaur".
  2. The book points out how the former Latin alphabet used the letter V in place of U.
  3. Therefore the above phrase is modified to "cvte pvrple dinosavr".
  4. Letters that do not represent Roman numerals are removed, leaving: "c v v l d i v"
  5. When the remaining numbers 100, 5, 5, 50, 500, 1, and 5 are added, the result is 666, the Number of the Beast. A summary of the Antichrist calculation was included in the Barney FAQ v1.2 (posted on Usenet's alt.tv.barney newsgroup in December 1993).
  6. This also works with "lovable purple dinosaur". This gives the letters "l v l v l d i v", which in turn gives 50, 5, 50, 5, 50, 500, 1, and 5, which also add up to 666.
There are lots of others.  If you are a numbers person you could probably make it stand for whatever you want.  For me, right now, it stands for the number of posts I've written so far.  But let's be silly and look at beast shoes.


Do you think your toes poke of out this beastie's mouth?  What the heck kind of beasts are these, anyway?


Kind of an obvious choice, I know, but hey, I did say beast shoes.


These were labeled as "sea monster shoes ."  I guess I can see that.  Baby sea beastie shoes!


Release the Kracken!  (did I just completely solidify my dork status?)


I'm not entirely sure what's going on with these shoes, but they are certainly beast-like.


Dragon beastie shoes.  Could be a Leviathan, too.


Bigfoot shoes!  Or possibly Chewbacca's cousins...


Wow.  This was labeled as a gargoyle shoe.  It's kind of cool in a crazy, wild, insane sort of way.

Please don't take the Book of Revelation literally.  It's actually a book of hope, that the crappy crap won't last forever, and the promises of the resurrection our our comfort and security.

On a final note, I went to a memorial service today and said good-bye to one of my bible study ladies.  It was sad, and a bright light is gone from the world, but those promises of the resurrection are present here, too, and I'm happy that she is no longer sick or in pain and she is at peace because of those promises.  One quick story:  She once told me that when she was a young woman she bought a new pair of shoes with every paycheck.  Oh yeah, my kind of woman!  Also, I really wish she had saved all of those shoes, because how cool would that have been?  I will miss her, her smile, and her beautiful personality.

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